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The F Word

I don’t have any principled objections to swearing, in fact I like to swear, a lot.  Did you know that the more you swear in everyday life, the less emotionally charged the words become and the less effective the words are?  

The ”F word” I wanted to share with you is actually – fiancée.  It seems that my engaged girlfriends have a hard time saying the word.  It seems my engaged guy-friends also struggle with it.   Many say that they simply use the term “partner.”   Partner sounds practical and relevant and I like it.

Why is it that when two people get engaged, they all of a sudden call each other a fancy French name? We date and are called boyfriend and girlfriend, we marry and are referred to as husband and wife.  When you get engaged you are stuck in the middle (who knows for how long!) and there is only one word for both people which apparently has no French translation – fiancée. 


Hating the word is not to be confused with hating being engaged – that part is fun.  Some other words I’ve heard when meeting couples to plan their wedding at Inn at Laurel Point include “the man, my boy, my partner or just his/her name.” 

What makes me happy, months later when all the planning translates into a beautiful day and the commitment to each other has been made, is to hear the words ”my lover, or my bestfriend.”  Words that come from the heart.